Drummer Jokes 101

I used to think that I knew all the good drummer jokes, but lately there have been a few new ones.  (To me, at least).  In an effort to not only attack lawyers and accountants on my blog, I’ll turn the pen toward myself with my top 10 favorite drummer jokes.  Please feel free to comment and leave your favorites.

1. What is the difference between a pizza and a drummer?  A pizza can feed a family of four

2. What do you call someone who likes to hang out with musicians?  A drummer

3. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?  Homeless

4. What is the difference between a dead snake and a dead drummer in the middle of the road?  There are skid marks leading up to the snake

5. What has three legs and an a-hole on top?  A drum stool

6. What’s the best way to confuse a drummer? Put sheet music in front of him

7. What do you do to get a drummer off your doorstep?  Pay him for the pizza

8. Why do guitarists place drumsticks on their dashboards?  So they can park in the handicap spots

9. What’s the biggest lie told to drummers?  I’ll help you with your gear

10. Why are band breaks only 20 minutes?  So you don’t have to retrain the drummer

Bonus politically incorrect swipe joke

What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?  They both suck without Cream

  • Denise

    Q: What's the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
    A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

    • Oh, that is great.  A new one to me, too!

    • Antoinette

      i have heard that joke like 1000000000000000000000000000000000 times

      Q:hey did u hear the drummer who finished high school
      AL me either

  • How can you tell when a drummer's knocking at the door?

    He speeds up.

  • Oh-HOO, look who's getting picky! OK, I'll make some up. Fresh off the grill:

    Investor: This recession's awful. I can't stand to listen to the market reports anymore.
    Drummer: Really? I couldn't listen to them before, but now everything's great.
    Investor: Great? Have you heard the Dow today?
    Drummer: Yeah, and boy, did I miss that! I can't hear anything above 8K.

    • That’s awesome.  Love it!  (fyi, always wear earplugs)

  • Drummer parties a little too hard one night. The next morning, his roommate sees him walking around with his wallet duct-taped to his cheek.

    Seems he was trying to stop his head from ringing.

    • Or substitute “duct tape” for wallet and you have one too…

  • Why do bass players have more money than drummers?

    Because drummers are always out-of-pocket.

    • Another new one!

      Jason Mendelson

      Sent from my iPhone
      – please forgive iTypos.

  • Trey

    How can you tell the drum riser is level?

    Drool is dripping from BOTH sides of the drummers mouth!

    How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?

    You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground

  • Awesome. Thanks!

    Jason Mendelson

    Sent from my iPhone
    – please forgive iTypos.

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  • Why do Drummers always shake their heads in concerts? Coz they don't have much to do in concerts.

  • These jokes are awesome.

  • Pingback: Drummer Gone Wild | Mendelson's Musings()

  • Hope

    I have to say, I really don't get drummer jokes. My son is a drummer. He is an incredible drummer. You should hear him. I was looking for a "good" drum joke to cheer him up. I can see that I won't find it here.

  • Stevie

    I think Hope should lighten up. Im a drummer too but I love drummer jokes. You need to be able to laugh at yourself.

  • Love the second one but maybe I should not laugh as I'm a bass player. We are just bneath the drummers!

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