I used to think that I knew all the good drummer jokes, but lately there have been a few new ones. (To me, at least). In an effort to not only attack lawyers and accountants on my blog, I’ll turn the pen toward myself with my top 10 favorite drummer jokes. Please feel free to comment and leave your favorites.
1. What is the difference between a pizza and a drummer? A pizza can feed a family of four
2. What do you call someone who likes to hang out with musicians? A drummer
3. What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless
4. What is the difference between a dead snake and a dead drummer in the middle of the road? There are skid marks leading up to the snake
5. What has three legs and an a-hole on top? A drum stool
6. What’s the best way to confuse a drummer? Put sheet music in front of him
7. What do you do to get a drummer off your doorstep? Pay him for the pizza
8. Why do guitarists place drumsticks on their dashboards? So they can park in the handicap spots
9. What’s the biggest lie told to drummers? I’ll help you with your gear
10. Why are band breaks only 20 minutes? So you don’t have to retrain the drummer
Bonus politically incorrect swipe joke:
What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Comment by Denise — April 27, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
Oh, that is great. A new one to me, too!
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 27, 2009 @ 11:30 pm
How can you tell when a drummer's knocking at the door?
He speeds up.
Comment by Jay Levitt — April 27, 2009 @ 11:44 pm
Oldie but goodie
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 27, 2009 @ 11:54 pm
That’s awesome. Love it! (fyi, always wear earplugs)
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 28, 2009 @ 3:12 am
Or substitute “duct tape” for wallet and you have one too…
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 28, 2009 @ 3:13 am
Oh-HOO, look who's getting picky! OK, I'll make some up. Fresh off the grill:
Investor: This recession's awful. I can't stand to listen to the market reports anymore.
Drummer: Really? I couldn't listen to them before, but now everything's great.
Investor: Great? Have you heard the Dow today?
Drummer: Yeah, and boy, did I miss that! I can't hear anything above 8K.
Comment by Jay Levitt — April 28, 2009 @ 12:45 am
Drummer parties a little too hard one night. The next morning, his roommate sees him walking around with his wallet duct-taped to his cheek.
Seems he was trying to stop his head from ringing.
Comment by Jay Levitt — April 28, 2009 @ 12:50 am
Why do bass players have more money than drummers?
Because drummers are always out-of-pocket.
Comment by Vada — April 29, 2009 @ 10:35 pm
How can you tell the drum riser is level?
Drool is dripping from BOTH sides of the drummers mouth!
How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground
Comment by Trey — April 30, 2009 @ 12:53 am
Another new one!
———————-
Jason Mendelson
Sent from my iPhone
- please forgive iTypos.
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 30, 2009 @ 2:47 am
Awesome. Thanks!
———————-
Jason Mendelson
Sent from my iPhone
- please forgive iTypos.
Comment by Jason Mendelson — April 30, 2009 @ 3:06 am
[...] The top search that brought readers to my blog was “drummer jokes.” In fact, my drummer joke post is now 8 in the Google ranking. Interestingly, my post was done back in April and it’s a [...]
Pingback by I Love My Lijit Search Capability | Mendelson's Musings — November 30, 2009 @ 9:37 am
i have heard that joke like 1000000000000000000000000000000000 times
Q:hey did u hear the drummer who finished high school
AL me either
DRUMMERS RULE.IM A DRUMMER BUT I THINK THIS JOKES ARE FUNNY
Comment by Antoinette — December 16, 2009 @ 4:09 am
Why do Drummers always shake their heads in concerts? Coz they don't have much to do in concerts.
Comment by Submission article — January 2, 2010 @ 2:07 pm
Sad, but true
Comment by Jason Mendelson — January 2, 2010 @ 3:31 pm
These jokes are awesome.
Comment by Drummer — February 26, 2010 @ 5:16 pm